Day of Decision...yet again!

You know when you are waiting for something in the mail and it seems to be taking FOREVER to get there?  And you run and check the mail every day? And when you finally get an envelope addressed to you, you tear it open and gasp for breath in anticipation of the news you were waiting for? And when you open your eyes, the letter says "DELAYED"? This is how I have been feeling for many years now.

In November 2008, rights of all LGBTQ Californians were stripped away with the passage of Prop. 8.  The fact that a law was passed that could actually take away rights from people, in this day and age, was utterly shocking.  In August 2010, Judge Vaughn Walker ruled that Prop. 8 was unconstitutional.  Hope was restored in California, however, marriages have yet to resume.  Did you hear me?  Marriages have yet to resume in California.

Now, you may say, "Woman, I know this." But honestly, there are so many people that ask me if it is legal to marry in California.  I realize people don't follow this as closely as my lovely other and I do, but it is interesting how many people think it is legal to marry someone who you love of the same sex here in California.  Damn, it SHOULD be legal!  But alas, it still is not.

For personal reasons, I am truly hoping that tomorrow's decision lifts the stay so marriages can continue in this state.  My wedding is 4 short months away.  It would be nice to promise my love and my heart in front of my friends and family and have it be legal in this state.  But if it isn't, it doesn't change my committment to my future wife nor to my daughters.  We are as legal as we can get it, and in our hearts and our life, we are married.  But that doesn't mean that I want or will settle for anything less than full federal equality.

Granted, the decision tomorrow is for the state of California (although there are ways for it to become a federal ruling if it goes on to the U.S. Supreme Court).  And I want equal rights in my state.  But it doesn't stop there. We need equality at a federal level.  As I sit here, for the second night in a row, doing taxes and banging my head against the wall with my lovely other, it is crazy of how many hoops same sex partners have to go through.  The fact that my income is her income and her income is my income and that we have to claim it as community property and add it to our earnings is completely ludicrous.  But I digress...

Tomorrow is a big day.  There are rallies planned and people are ready to react, regardless of the decision from the Ninth District Court of Appeals.  We plan on participating and being as involved as we can.  I will definitely be active in sharing information on Facebook and here on my blog. You can keep abreast at Prop 8 Trial Tracker. Cross your fingers, and your toes...even your eyes...oh wait, not the best idea.  But still, let us hope we can have equality in our state come tomorrow.

4 days of anxious waiting

December 8th is approaching in 4 days.  We are having a day in court on that day, which ironically is exactly 6 months before my lovely other and I are getting married.

There is an amazing site called Prop 8 Trial Tracker that I follow which gives me all the scoop on what's going on with Prop 8. They have this amazing "Where Things Stand" which you can find here. On December 8th, we will be hearing about the potential releasing of the Prop 8 tapes as well as the notion of standing and the arguments related to vacating Judge Walker's ruling.

I am so anxious about this.  I want so badly for it all to be done with.  Our youngest daughter even mentioned it to me the other day, not understanding why Prop 8 was even still alive.  I want to be able to marry my bride without restriction; without discrimination and without feeling like we are second-class citizens.

If you have any questions about how we could possibly feel like second class citizens, look up how much higher I am taxed on health benefits because I have a domestic partner, not a spouse.  This is an additional percentage I pay because I am not legally married. Look at how I have to have my health benefits taken our POST-tax due to federal stipulations, thus paying higher taxes.  Look at the fact the health insurance coverage my employer pays for my partner is considered income in the state of California and I have to pay taxes on it...even though they already taxed me once.  Look at the fact that if I lose my job, my partner is not eligible for COBRA because it is a federal benefit.

On top of that, add to the fact that I pretty much "come-out" on the daily.  "Your husband?" "No, my partner." I don't mind.  I am very proud. I wouldn't change me, as it took a very long time to get to be me.  It's more people's reactions.  Luckily, I haven't had any bad reactions, just ones where you know they are trying to think of how to respond.  I just keep on, keepin' on :-)  Because she is worth it..we are worth it :-)

Here's to 4 more days of waiting...

Hope

This is one of the most powerful speeches.  Today, we remember Harvey Milk and what he did for the LGBT community.  In fact, my lovely other and I are going to watch "Milk" right now as a tribute.

Thank you Harvey.  Thank you for giving all of us hope.