Thursday, May 26, 2016

Mothers don't let your babies grow up to be...no let them be what they want

I am a mom. By choice in fact. I love it. I've said that this year marks a milestone year for me in my life because it is the "same age" year as many call it for those who have lost a parent. This year, I am the same age that my mom was when she passed away from a long battle with cancer (42). Ironically, my youngest daughter is the exact same age I was when my mom passed (13). In recently months, I have watched her bloom into a typical teenager, with the hormones and the make up and the hair and the style. I now know what my mom saw from her perspective. I have attending awards presentations and performances and sent her off to her 8th grade formal dance. The proudest moments. It's amazing to think my mom was about to die at the age I am now. She missed my promotion dance. I can't imagine not being here. My life seems like it's just beginning! I remember my perspective at my daughter's age: growing up so much faster than my friends had to. But I HAD to. One of the things my wife and I do for our children is really have them understand the importance of self-sufficiency. It's hard, but it's essential. My mom started working with me and my brother at a young age (she was diagnosed when I was 4) because she didn't know what time had in store or how much time she would have. The things I learned from my mom have been long life lessons but the simple things were what I learned when I was young. Make your bed. Do the dishes. Never wash reds with whites. Be honest. Show compassion. I believe we have done these (except the making the bed part) with both our kids. It may be a struggle, but larger struggles lie ahead so you might as well get the small ones down early. In two weeks, my youngest promotes from middle school and begins her high school years. What I would have given to have my mom with me during those years. I am looking forward to the opportunity to be there for B.