Today we were suppose to hear from the US Supreme Court on whether or not they would take up the Prop 8 case and DOMA. But nothing yet. It could come as early as Monday, December 3rd or even on December 7th. Hopefully we will hear something soon. Patience is a virtue, but waiting is a bitch.
So tonight, I am celebrating 5 years since my first date with my lovely wife. It was a day much like today: rainy, cold, mud everywhere. But we had the most romantic time. The evening was filled with butterflies. Not in the air as it was too chilly, but in our tummies. We always giggle at that because we both were so insanely nervous. This is where butterflies in our relationship started. And another layer of the meaning for the sole butterfly in my ink on my arm. The catalyst for change. The chosen direction. Flight. Evolution. Love. Beauty. Freedom.
My decision to be me. My decision to live an outward life surrounded by love. My decision to tread through the mud, the hills, any obstacle...all for the truth. For life to be what it was meant to be. I did not choose to be gay. I was born this way. I made the decision to be free.
Patiently, I await the decision of the United States Supreme Court on whether they will uphold the decisions made by two previous federal courts in California that Prop 8 is unconstitutional.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Birthday analysis
On Wednesday, November 28th, somewhere in the afternoon during the 3:00 hour, I will turn 39 years old. I was born on a Wednesday, and I am entering into my last year of my 30's on the same day of the week. That means my 40th birthday will be next year, and also fall exactly on Thanksgiving. On Wednesday, I will begin my 40th year of life.
When I began my 30th year of life, I was not in the best of places. I had increasing anxiety and a fear of being around people. I would fall asleep when I was out with friends. I had very poor self-esteem and my health (apparently) was not in the best of places. About mid-way through that year of life, my body told me to slow down. I had my only seizure thus far which made me go to the hospital for testing. I was not healthy. I needed to change my life or I might not see 40 without some really insane health issues. I changed my life: began working out 5 days a week, eating lower carbs and meditating and doing yoga to calm my mind and find my center. On my 30th birthday, I was full of energy and had a vigor for life. Of course, a few years following this is when the real self-analysis happened and I started to be honest about who I was and how I wanted to live, as fearful as it was at the time. My life changed and it was so much better in so many ways.
Somehow, I felt that I could never slip back into unhealthiness again. I have absolutely maintained my sanity: my life is the best it has ever been. I truly mean that when I say it. I cry sometimes, just to myself, because I honestly never thought my life could be this full with my little family. I honestly see my future, with my wife and girls, and it is clear and beautiful and bright. My only concern is my health.
As this 40th year begins, I find myself sleepy (A LOT), cranky, and overweight. I use to blame it on my boobs, saying that they were choking me when I lay down. But honestly, it's my tummy. Now, in case you are not aware, I like to eat. I like curves and I am not all about the skinny figure. My concern is that my body is not responding the way it should be. My knees feel arthritic and no longer have the energy that I had just 10 years ago. I have tried to start doing things but I lack commitment and always have an excuse. But now, it is time. And I am making my commitment here.
I have no goal weight. But I do have an exercise goal. I am committing, to myself, my family and to anyone who reads this, to exercise 4 days of the week. I also am committing to meditate regularly. I cannot state a numeric goal, however, I would like to meditate when I need to. I think it will help me stay focused. I am also committing to eating healthier. I need to keep portion control at the top of my list. I am going to refrain from sugar and eat smaller portions. I am going to do the best that I can. It is hard to say I will eliminate processed foods and high carb foods but I will commit to thinking my meals through and doing the best I can do with what I have.
I will begin this change in my life habits on the first day of my 40th year (so that means on Thursday). I feel this is the best way to begin. I don't want to be "bathing suit ready by summer"; I could give a shit about that. I want to be the ball of awesomeness, at my core, and ring 40 in with a lot of high fives. I am ready.
When I began my 30th year of life, I was not in the best of places. I had increasing anxiety and a fear of being around people. I would fall asleep when I was out with friends. I had very poor self-esteem and my health (apparently) was not in the best of places. About mid-way through that year of life, my body told me to slow down. I had my only seizure thus far which made me go to the hospital for testing. I was not healthy. I needed to change my life or I might not see 40 without some really insane health issues. I changed my life: began working out 5 days a week, eating lower carbs and meditating and doing yoga to calm my mind and find my center. On my 30th birthday, I was full of energy and had a vigor for life. Of course, a few years following this is when the real self-analysis happened and I started to be honest about who I was and how I wanted to live, as fearful as it was at the time. My life changed and it was so much better in so many ways.
Somehow, I felt that I could never slip back into unhealthiness again. I have absolutely maintained my sanity: my life is the best it has ever been. I truly mean that when I say it. I cry sometimes, just to myself, because I honestly never thought my life could be this full with my little family. I honestly see my future, with my wife and girls, and it is clear and beautiful and bright. My only concern is my health.
As this 40th year begins, I find myself sleepy (A LOT), cranky, and overweight. I use to blame it on my boobs, saying that they were choking me when I lay down. But honestly, it's my tummy. Now, in case you are not aware, I like to eat. I like curves and I am not all about the skinny figure. My concern is that my body is not responding the way it should be. My knees feel arthritic and no longer have the energy that I had just 10 years ago. I have tried to start doing things but I lack commitment and always have an excuse. But now, it is time. And I am making my commitment here.
I have no goal weight. But I do have an exercise goal. I am committing, to myself, my family and to anyone who reads this, to exercise 4 days of the week. I also am committing to meditate regularly. I cannot state a numeric goal, however, I would like to meditate when I need to. I think it will help me stay focused. I am also committing to eating healthier. I need to keep portion control at the top of my list. I am going to refrain from sugar and eat smaller portions. I am going to do the best that I can. It is hard to say I will eliminate processed foods and high carb foods but I will commit to thinking my meals through and doing the best I can do with what I have.
I will begin this change in my life habits on the first day of my 40th year (so that means on Thursday). I feel this is the best way to begin. I don't want to be "bathing suit ready by summer"; I could give a shit about that. I want to be the ball of awesomeness, at my core, and ring 40 in with a lot of high fives. I am ready.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Chick-fil-A...what's the big deal?
I had a very interesting conversation recently with a friend of mine over the recent public boycott of Chick-fil-A. I say public boycott because I have been boycotting them for years, but it seems only recently has it hit the newsstands. The CEO of Chick-fil-A came out as saying that if you support marriage equality, then you "are inviting God's judgment on our nation," and that we "shake our fist at Him". Chick-fil-A has donated over $5 million dollars to anti gay organizations and hate groups. I know they are a Christian based organization, which is absolutely fine. I have a problem with the CEO imparting his views on a franchised business and using our money to donate to organizations I disagree with. So for that, I boycott them.
Some people I have known for a long time still eat there. I don't believe they feel their purchase of a chicken meal really makes any sort of difference. My friend had asked me how I felt about it; that people I knew, who supported me, were also eating at Chick-fil-A. He thought that was really back ass-wards that someone would do that, knowing they fund groups who are keeping marriage equality at bay. I told him simply this: people are simple. Most really don't think their actions have any sort of effect on the environment around them. That is why so many people litter. They have no concept that they are, little by little, destroying our Earth. Does it bother me that someone I know still eats there and doesn't care, just because they like their food? Yeah, it does. It hurts in my heart. Honestly, their food isn't that great. It's fast food. Fast food tastes like shit. It may smell good and it may taste good initially, but again, that's the media and the advertising and false smells they pump out to get your taste buds craving their food. I use to eat there, back in the day. Then I decided that I didn't like their tactics. So I stopped. And you know? I never craved it again.
Many times, I think people think "Oh there goes Lisa, preaching on her soap box again." Especially within my bio-family. But they don't realize how REALLY directly these actions e/affect me. The Effect is that funding toward these groups and organizations that keep Prop 8 and DOMA alive and well cause me to not have the same marriage rights as heterosexual couples, pay more taxes, simply because of who I love. The Affect is that my heart truly hurts. Because I *do* take it personally.
So nothing is new. Boycotting Chick-fil-A will stay. As will boycotting Rockstar and See's Candy. There are better energy drinks and better chocolate, pure and simple. And that is my choice. I choose where my money goes. And it won't go knowingly to support anti-gay hate groups.
Some people I have known for a long time still eat there. I don't believe they feel their purchase of a chicken meal really makes any sort of difference. My friend had asked me how I felt about it; that people I knew, who supported me, were also eating at Chick-fil-A. He thought that was really back ass-wards that someone would do that, knowing they fund groups who are keeping marriage equality at bay. I told him simply this: people are simple. Most really don't think their actions have any sort of effect on the environment around them. That is why so many people litter. They have no concept that they are, little by little, destroying our Earth. Does it bother me that someone I know still eats there and doesn't care, just because they like their food? Yeah, it does. It hurts in my heart. Honestly, their food isn't that great. It's fast food. Fast food tastes like shit. It may smell good and it may taste good initially, but again, that's the media and the advertising and false smells they pump out to get your taste buds craving their food. I use to eat there, back in the day. Then I decided that I didn't like their tactics. So I stopped. And you know? I never craved it again.
Many times, I think people think "Oh there goes Lisa, preaching on her soap box again." Especially within my bio-family. But they don't realize how REALLY directly these actions e/affect me. The Effect is that funding toward these groups and organizations that keep Prop 8 and DOMA alive and well cause me to not have the same marriage rights as heterosexual couples, pay more taxes, simply because of who I love. The Affect is that my heart truly hurts. Because I *do* take it personally.
So nothing is new. Boycotting Chick-fil-A will stay. As will boycotting Rockstar and See's Candy. There are better energy drinks and better chocolate, pure and simple. And that is my choice. I choose where my money goes. And it won't go knowingly to support anti-gay hate groups.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Married? Yes, I am.
Us!
The Honor Party of Awesomeness!
Me and my beautiful wife
We rocked this photo!
Monday, March 26, 2012
Equality in the Courtroom
I was summoned for jury duty today. I pretty much am summoned every year. Only 2 times have I ever made it as far as the courtroom where jury selection begins. Today was one of those days.
Now, as some of you may know, once you get as far as the juror box, they have you answer simple questions to get a better idea about you and how you might fit as a juror in the case. The questions are about name, marital status, how many kids you have, where you work, where your spouse (if any) works, if you have family or close friends in law enforcement, etc. Now, I haven't ever been called into the jury box, but last time I got this far into the jury selection process, I was married to my ex-husband.
Today, I was thinking about the case and the vague facts we were given. I don't doubt that I would have sat on the trial had I been called to the jury box. But I got to thinking, since we were waiting so long, how would I answer the questions had they called my name up?
"My name is Lisa. I am, well, I am in a domestic partnership since that is as legal as it can get. So not single, not legally married..."
In my mind, I am married. My lovely other and I had a beautiful handfasting ceremony last year tying our spiritual bonds. This June, we are having a wedding in front of those who have supported our relationship throughout the years. I don't know if it will be truly legal, but in our minds it will be. But back to my point...
So here are all these jurors, stating they are divorced, married, single...and then what would I say? I decided if I had to answer the questions, I would say "I have a domestic partner". And that would "out" me to the 28 people in the courtroom. It made me feel different, of course. Not quite married, definitely not single. But definitely different from everyone else.
If there was marriage equality, then I wouldn't have to out myself to anyone I didn't want to, like those people in the courtroom. Just one more way that shows domestic partnership and civil unions are not the same as marriage.
Now, as some of you may know, once you get as far as the juror box, they have you answer simple questions to get a better idea about you and how you might fit as a juror in the case. The questions are about name, marital status, how many kids you have, where you work, where your spouse (if any) works, if you have family or close friends in law enforcement, etc. Now, I haven't ever been called into the jury box, but last time I got this far into the jury selection process, I was married to my ex-husband.
Today, I was thinking about the case and the vague facts we were given. I don't doubt that I would have sat on the trial had I been called to the jury box. But I got to thinking, since we were waiting so long, how would I answer the questions had they called my name up?
"My name is Lisa. I am, well, I am in a domestic partnership since that is as legal as it can get. So not single, not legally married..."
In my mind, I am married. My lovely other and I had a beautiful handfasting ceremony last year tying our spiritual bonds. This June, we are having a wedding in front of those who have supported our relationship throughout the years. I don't know if it will be truly legal, but in our minds it will be. But back to my point...
So here are all these jurors, stating they are divorced, married, single...and then what would I say? I decided if I had to answer the questions, I would say "I have a domestic partner". And that would "out" me to the 28 people in the courtroom. It made me feel different, of course. Not quite married, definitely not single. But definitely different from everyone else.
If there was marriage equality, then I wouldn't have to out myself to anyone I didn't want to, like those people in the courtroom. Just one more way that shows domestic partnership and civil unions are not the same as marriage.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Busy-ness keeps the bird...busy
I have been a lazy blogger. I should blog at least once a week, maybe even once every two weeks. I mean, how am I politically active and not sharing the word? Well, I think it is because I have been up to my eyeballs in busy. Busy at work, busy with the kiddos, busy with wedding, busy with moving furniture and doing this and doing that. I am very thankful my lovely other and I are taking Friday (our M.L day...inside secret) to do something for us. We are having massages and going out to dinner. 2 hour long massages! Much needed massages... I really hope to stick to my word and blog more often. Well, here is to one blog down, and another one to come! Cheers!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Update on the en banc review
The proponents filed a request for an en banc review of the full 9th Circuit Court. This is not news, as we knew they would file another appeal. I mean, why come this far and not keep filing? But really, it seems moot. At this point, it is just to continue to delay the stay that is enacted.
Here is where you can get all your Prop. 8 updates. I love this site. It is run through AFER and gives all and any details you might need.
I'm not sure what to say about it at this point. But I won't stop talking :)
Here is where you can get all your Prop. 8 updates. I love this site. It is run through AFER and gives all and any details you might need.
I'm not sure what to say about it at this point. But I won't stop talking :)
Monday, February 20, 2012
Moving Forward
It has been almost two weeks since the Day of Decision for Prop. 8. I have failed to blog due to all my other life musings (I'm getting married after all!) But I wanted to just throw out some thoughts.
On February 7th, the 9th District Court of Appeals 3-judge panel denied the appeal of Prop. 8 supporters who tried to halt Judge Vaughn Walker's initial ruling that the proposition was unconstitutional. Prop. 8 was struck down! Here is a quote, beautifully stated by Judge Stephen Reinhardt:
"Proposition
8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status
and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to
officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to
those of opposite-sex couples. The Constitution simply does not allow for 'laws of this sort'."
I get chills every time I read it.
But alas, there is always more. Supporters of Prop. 8 have 14 days to appeal the District Court's ruling to have an en banc review (which would include the full panel of the 9th Circuit). That 14 days expires tomorrow. If they do not request an en banc review with a larger panel of the appeals court, the 3-judge panel’s
ruling will be the last word at this level of appeal. Wow. That means the initial stay will expire on February 28th. But, they can also file an appeal with the U.S. Supreme Court. They have 90 days to do so. And they could request an extension of the stay... It's still too soon to celebrate, but my fingers and toes are crossed.
Right now, it is all about holding your breath. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
Monday, February 6, 2012
Day of Decision...yet again!
You know when you are waiting for something in the mail and it seems to be taking FOREVER to get there? And you run and check the mail every day? And when you finally get an envelope addressed to you, you tear it open and gasp for breath in anticipation of the news you were waiting for? And when you open your eyes, the letter says "DELAYED"? This is how I have been feeling for many years now.
In November 2008, rights of all LGBTQ Californians were stripped away with the passage of Prop. 8. The fact that a law was passed that could actually take away rights from people, in this day and age, was utterly shocking. In August 2010, Judge Vaughn Walker ruled that Prop. 8 was unconstitutional. Hope was restored in California, however, marriages have yet to resume. Did you hear me? Marriages have yet to resume in California.
Now, you may say, "Woman, I know this." But honestly, there are so many people that ask me if it is legal to marry in California. I realize people don't follow this as closely as my lovely other and I do, but it is interesting how many people think it is legal to marry someone who you love of the same sex here in California. Damn, it SHOULD be legal! But alas, it still is not.
For personal reasons, I am truly hoping that tomorrow's decision lifts the stay so marriages can continue in this state. My wedding is 4 short months away. It would be nice to promise my love and my heart in front of my friends and family and have it be legal in this state. But if it isn't, it doesn't change my committment to my future wife nor to my daughters. We are as legal as we can get it, and in our hearts and our life, we are married. But that doesn't mean that I want or will settle for anything less than full federal equality.
Granted, the decision tomorrow is for the state of California (although there are ways for it to become a federal ruling if it goes on to the U.S. Supreme Court). And I want equal rights in my state. But it doesn't stop there. We need equality at a federal level. As I sit here, for the second night in a row, doing taxes and banging my head against the wall with my lovely other, it is crazy of how many hoops same sex partners have to go through. The fact that my income is her income and her income is my income and that we have to claim it as community property and add it to our earnings is completely ludicrous. But I digress...
Tomorrow is a big day. There are rallies planned and people are ready to react, regardless of the decision from the Ninth District Court of Appeals. We plan on participating and being as involved as we can. I will definitely be active in sharing information on Facebook and here on my blog. You can keep abreast at Prop 8 Trial Tracker. Cross your fingers, and your toes...even your eyes...oh wait, not the best idea. But still, let us hope we can have equality in our state come tomorrow.
In November 2008, rights of all LGBTQ Californians were stripped away with the passage of Prop. 8. The fact that a law was passed that could actually take away rights from people, in this day and age, was utterly shocking. In August 2010, Judge Vaughn Walker ruled that Prop. 8 was unconstitutional. Hope was restored in California, however, marriages have yet to resume. Did you hear me? Marriages have yet to resume in California.
Now, you may say, "Woman, I know this." But honestly, there are so many people that ask me if it is legal to marry in California. I realize people don't follow this as closely as my lovely other and I do, but it is interesting how many people think it is legal to marry someone who you love of the same sex here in California. Damn, it SHOULD be legal! But alas, it still is not.
For personal reasons, I am truly hoping that tomorrow's decision lifts the stay so marriages can continue in this state. My wedding is 4 short months away. It would be nice to promise my love and my heart in front of my friends and family and have it be legal in this state. But if it isn't, it doesn't change my committment to my future wife nor to my daughters. We are as legal as we can get it, and in our hearts and our life, we are married. But that doesn't mean that I want or will settle for anything less than full federal equality.
Granted, the decision tomorrow is for the state of California (although there are ways for it to become a federal ruling if it goes on to the U.S. Supreme Court). And I want equal rights in my state. But it doesn't stop there. We need equality at a federal level. As I sit here, for the second night in a row, doing taxes and banging my head against the wall with my lovely other, it is crazy of how many hoops same sex partners have to go through. The fact that my income is her income and her income is my income and that we have to claim it as community property and add it to our earnings is completely ludicrous. But I digress...
Tomorrow is a big day. There are rallies planned and people are ready to react, regardless of the decision from the Ninth District Court of Appeals. We plan on participating and being as involved as we can. I will definitely be active in sharing information on Facebook and here on my blog. You can keep abreast at Prop 8 Trial Tracker. Cross your fingers, and your toes...even your eyes...oh wait, not the best idea. But still, let us hope we can have equality in our state come tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Freedom
Yesterday we celebrated Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday. I watched some of his speeches as I do most years and man, he really was an iconic person. To think that we are fighting for our same civil liberties is amazing. True freedom will never happen unless equality prevails.
I am anxiously awaiting a court decision for Prop 8. It's so very hard because the in between time is so very great. I feel like there is so much I should be doing. But alas, a lot of it is wait time. I will try to do more blogging. My musings tend to vary lately. So much on my mind and I believe it comes out all a blur.
Well, we have the Freedom of Speech and that, my friends, gives me the opportunity to share with you my perspective on an open forum such as the interwebs. Let's just hope I can express myself the way I want to be heard.
I am anxiously awaiting a court decision for Prop 8. It's so very hard because the in between time is so very great. I feel like there is so much I should be doing. But alas, a lot of it is wait time. I will try to do more blogging. My musings tend to vary lately. So much on my mind and I believe it comes out all a blur.
Well, we have the Freedom of Speech and that, my friends, gives me the opportunity to share with you my perspective on an open forum such as the interwebs. Let's just hope I can express myself the way I want to be heard.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Remembering
On this Saturday, 25 years ago, my mom passed away. I don't like to say she "succumbed" to breast cancer, because she fought that son-of-a-bitch every day for 8 years. But eventually she just didn't have the strength left in her. She didn't give up. My mom never gave up. She was a strong woman and I believe I get my strength from her.
I was 13 when my mom died. Shortly after was when I stopped believing in the ways set forth in Catholicism. I couldn't fathom a god who loved me so much to take my mom away when I needed her most, leaving me behind to take care of my brother and my father. It didn't make sense. Although my mom taught me everything I needed to know to survive in this world, it never made sense why I needed to know these things so young. Ironically, I find myself teaching them to my two daughters because I know it will make them stronger. My lovely other and I both believe these things to be true and we want to instill the power of choice, the power of responsibility and the power of love in our girls.
I remember thinking when I was about 15 years old that I could never imagine my mom being gone for 10 years... When I turned 26, I realized that she had been gone for twice the amount of years I had been alive! I remember at 34 when I had a small, fibrous mass in my breast, how ironic it was that I was the age my mom was misdiagnosed as having a benign mass in her breast. And now, at 38, I am looking upon the 25 year anniversary of her passing. I have a lot of memory loss within my adult years (no, it was not due to crazy partying or massive drug use, ha!), but no matter what, I remember that day crystal clear in my head. Every moment. Bits and pieces from the days before and sporadic events from the days following. But that one afternoon is still as clear as day.
My future wife says I look just like my mom and that the older I get, the more I look like her. I have her smile, and her eyes. I always felt so proud when people said I look like her. I still am proud. My cousin once told me that she would have supported me in my decisions to live the life I lead; to be the person I am; to express myself to the fullest. I believe that. She always wanted only the best for my brother and I. I have a journal she kept and I know it to be true. Maybe she knew deep down that she was growing an activist; someone who was destined to make a difference. Maybe somehow she knew.
I wish I could have known her as an adult. I use to miss the whole "growing up" thing, that relationship you cultivate between parent and child. But now, I wish I had known her in my adult life. I think it would have truly been amazing to have a conversation with her. It would be a long conversation, maybe about parenting, maybe about politics. And there would be laughter, because we both laugh alot...and loud. I always remember my mom smiling, laughing. Even when she was in pain. I guess that is good. It's those memories that keep me going. Those are the ones that teach me to never give up.
I was 13 when my mom died. Shortly after was when I stopped believing in the ways set forth in Catholicism. I couldn't fathom a god who loved me so much to take my mom away when I needed her most, leaving me behind to take care of my brother and my father. It didn't make sense. Although my mom taught me everything I needed to know to survive in this world, it never made sense why I needed to know these things so young. Ironically, I find myself teaching them to my two daughters because I know it will make them stronger. My lovely other and I both believe these things to be true and we want to instill the power of choice, the power of responsibility and the power of love in our girls.
I remember thinking when I was about 15 years old that I could never imagine my mom being gone for 10 years... When I turned 26, I realized that she had been gone for twice the amount of years I had been alive! I remember at 34 when I had a small, fibrous mass in my breast, how ironic it was that I was the age my mom was misdiagnosed as having a benign mass in her breast. And now, at 38, I am looking upon the 25 year anniversary of her passing. I have a lot of memory loss within my adult years (no, it was not due to crazy partying or massive drug use, ha!), but no matter what, I remember that day crystal clear in my head. Every moment. Bits and pieces from the days before and sporadic events from the days following. But that one afternoon is still as clear as day.
My future wife says I look just like my mom and that the older I get, the more I look like her. I have her smile, and her eyes. I always felt so proud when people said I look like her. I still am proud. My cousin once told me that she would have supported me in my decisions to live the life I lead; to be the person I am; to express myself to the fullest. I believe that. She always wanted only the best for my brother and I. I have a journal she kept and I know it to be true. Maybe she knew deep down that she was growing an activist; someone who was destined to make a difference. Maybe somehow she knew.
I wish I could have known her as an adult. I use to miss the whole "growing up" thing, that relationship you cultivate between parent and child. But now, I wish I had known her in my adult life. I think it would have truly been amazing to have a conversation with her. It would be a long conversation, maybe about parenting, maybe about politics. And there would be laughter, because we both laugh alot...and loud. I always remember my mom smiling, laughing. Even when she was in pain. I guess that is good. It's those memories that keep me going. Those are the ones that teach me to never give up.
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