A few months late, but still an update

I have been a bad blogger. But instead of badgering myself, let me give you an update.

Here we are in 2013. Last month in March, the US Supreme Court heard oral arguments for both Prop 8 and DOMA. The decision, THE decision, comes in the end of June. My family and I went to a candlelight vigil in hopes to light the way for justice. Our youngest has written several essays and has discussed marriage equality all on her own accord. I think it's time to finally have what we have been striving for: equal rights.

There was another tragedy that has hit the US. The bombings at the Boston marathon make us all hold our loved ones a little tighter.

Westboro Baptist Church is at it again, saying all the bombings and tragedies that have hit us are because God is punishing us for allowing gays to marry. It's absolutely ludicrous. I cannot get my head around it except that they are all fucking nuts.

My wife started her new job and our oldest daughter turned 18 and graduates next month. Crazy how time flies! We all are getting into the rhythm of things and it is pretty awesome.

Maybe my next post won't be so far away now that I have an iPhone. Until then...

Day of Decision...not yet

Today we were suppose to hear from the US Supreme Court on whether or not they would take up the Prop 8 case and DOMA.  But nothing yet.  It could come as early as Monday, December 3rd or even on December 7th.  Hopefully we will hear something soon.  Patience is a virtue, but waiting is a bitch.

So tonight, I am celebrating 5 years since my first date with my lovely wife.  It was a day much like today: rainy, cold, mud everywhere.  But we had the most romantic time. The evening was filled with butterflies.  Not in the air as it was too chilly, but in our tummies.  We always giggle at that because we both were so insanely nervous.  This is where butterflies in our relationship started.  And another layer of the meaning for the sole butterfly in my ink on my arm. The catalyst for change.  The chosen direction.  Flight. Evolution. Love. Beauty. Freedom. 

My decision to be me.  My decision to live an outward life surrounded by love.  My decision to tread through the mud, the hills, any obstacle...all for the truth.  For life to be what it was meant to be.  I did not choose to be gay. I was born this way.  I made the decision to be free.

Patiently, I await the decision of the United States Supreme Court on whether they will uphold the decisions made by two previous federal courts in California that Prop 8 is unconstitutional.

Birthday analysis

On Wednesday, November 28th, somewhere in the afternoon during the 3:00 hour, I will turn 39 years old.  I was born on a Wednesday, and I am entering into my last year of my 30's on the same day of the week.  That means my 40th birthday will be next year, and also fall exactly on Thanksgiving. On Wednesday, I will begin my 40th year of life.

When I began my 30th year of life, I was not in the best of places.  I had increasing anxiety and a fear of being around people. I would fall asleep when I was out with friends. I had very poor self-esteem and my health (apparently) was not in the best of places. About mid-way through that year of life, my body told me to slow down.  I had my only seizure thus far which made me go to the hospital for testing.  I was not healthy.  I needed to change my life or I might not see 40 without some really insane health issues.  I changed my life: began working out 5 days a week, eating lower carbs and meditating and doing yoga to calm my mind and find my center.  On my 30th birthday, I was full of energy and had a vigor for life. Of course, a few years following this is when the real self-analysis happened and I started to be honest about who I was and how I wanted to live, as fearful as it was at the time. My life changed and it was so much better in so many ways.

Somehow, I felt that I could never slip back into unhealthiness again.  I have absolutely maintained my sanity: my life is the best it has ever been.  I truly mean that when I say it.  I cry sometimes, just to myself, because I honestly never thought my life could be this full with my little family.  I honestly see my future, with my wife and girls, and it is clear and beautiful and bright.  My only concern is my health.

As this 40th year begins, I find myself sleepy (A LOT), cranky, and overweight.  I use to blame it on my boobs, saying that they were choking me when I lay down.  But honestly, it's my tummy.  Now, in case you are not aware, I like to eat.  I like curves and I am not all about the skinny figure.  My concern is that my body is not responding the way it should be.  My knees feel arthritic and no longer have the energy that I had just 10 years ago.  I have tried to start doing things but I lack commitment and always have an excuse.   But now, it is time. And I am making my commitment here.

I have no goal weight.  But I do have an exercise goal.  I am committing, to myself, my family and to anyone who reads this, to exercise 4 days of the week.  I also am committing to meditate regularly.  I cannot state a numeric goal, however, I would like to meditate when I need to.  I think it will help me stay focused.  I am also committing to eating healthier.  I need to keep portion control at the top of my list.  I am going to refrain from sugar and eat smaller portions.  I am going to do the best that I can.  It is hard to say I will eliminate processed foods and high carb foods but I will commit to thinking my meals through and doing the best I can do with what I have.

I will begin this change in my life habits on the first day of my 40th year (so that means on Thursday). I feel this is the best way to begin.  I don't want to be "bathing suit ready by summer"; I could give a shit about that. I want to be the ball of awesomeness, at my core, and ring 40 in with a lot of high fives.  I am ready.

Chick-fil-A...what's the big deal?

I had a very interesting conversation recently with a friend of mine over the recent public boycott of Chick-fil-A.  I say public boycott because I have been boycotting them for years, but it seems only recently has it hit the newsstands.  The CEO of Chick-fil-A came out as saying that if you support marriage equality, then you "are inviting God's judgment on our nation," and that we "shake our fist at Him".  Chick-fil-A has donated over $5 million dollars to anti gay organizations and hate groups.  I know they are a Christian based organization, which is absolutely fine.  I have a problem with the CEO imparting his views on a franchised business and using our money to donate to organizations I disagree with.  So for that, I boycott them.

Some people I have known for a long time still eat there.  I don't believe they feel their purchase of a chicken meal really makes any sort of difference.  My friend had asked me how I felt about it; that people I knew, who supported me, were also eating at Chick-fil-A.  He thought that was really back ass-wards that someone would do that, knowing they fund groups who are keeping marriage equality at bay.  I told him simply this: people are simple.  Most really don't think their actions have any sort of effect on the environment around them.  That is why so many people litter.  They have no concept that they are, little by little, destroying our Earth. Does it bother me that someone I know still eats there and doesn't care, just because they like their food?  Yeah, it does.  It hurts in my heart.  Honestly, their food isn't that great.  It's fast food.  Fast food tastes like shit. It may smell good and it may taste good initially, but again, that's the media and the advertising and false smells they pump out to get your taste buds craving their food.  I use to eat there, back in the day.  Then I decided that I didn't like their tactics. So I stopped.  And you know?  I never craved it again.

Many times, I think people think "Oh there goes Lisa, preaching on her soap box again." Especially within my bio-family. But they don't realize how REALLY directly these actions e/affect me.  The Effect is that funding toward these groups and organizations that keep Prop 8 and DOMA alive and well cause me to not have the same marriage rights as heterosexual couples, pay more taxes, simply because of who I love.  The Affect is that my heart truly hurts. Because I *do* take it personally.

So nothing is new.  Boycotting Chick-fil-A will stay.  As will boycotting Rockstar and See's Candy.  There are better energy drinks and better chocolate, pure and simple.  And that is my choice.  I choose where my money goes.  And it won't go knowingly to support anti-gay hate groups.

Married? Yes, I am.

 So, I realize I have been lax in writing.  Well, I have been busy.  I got MARRIED! June 8, 2012.  6 and 8, our two favorite numbers.  In beautiful Laguna Beach at Tivoli Too.  It was the most perfect day, surrounded by all of our lovely friends and those who we consider family. Those who supported us, those who believe in love.  We wrote our ceremony and our amazing friend (Master of the Universe) officiated the wedding.  She was awesome - she got ordained just in case it was legal, and plans to marry us when it is indeed legal.  I love her! And at the end of the ceremony, one part that gave me chills was when she said "By the powers denied me by the State of California..." Poignant. Our marriage had some political points, however, it was not political.  It was absolutely and perfectly about love.  And I couldn't be happier. Above is our beautiful ceremony site and our rainbow butterfly cake. Enjoy the pictures below:

Us!

 The Honor Party of Awesomeness!

 Me and my beautiful wife

 We rocked this photo!

Equality in the Courtroom

I was summoned for jury duty today.  I pretty much am summoned every year.  Only 2 times have I ever made it as far as the courtroom where jury selection begins.  Today was one of those days. 

Now, as some of you may know, once you get as far as the juror box, they have you answer simple questions to get a better idea about you and how you might fit as a juror in the case.  The questions are about name, marital status, how many kids you have, where you work, where your spouse (if any) works, if you have family or close friends in law enforcement, etc.  Now, I haven't ever been called into the jury box, but last time I got this far into the jury selection process, I was married to my ex-husband.

Today, I was thinking about the case and the vague facts we were given.  I don't doubt that I would have sat on the trial had I been called to the jury box.  But I got to thinking, since we were waiting so long, how would I answer the questions had they called my name up?

"My name is Lisa.  I am, well, I am in a domestic partnership since that is as legal as it can get.  So not single, not legally married..."

In my mind, I am married.  My lovely other and I had a beautiful handfasting ceremony last year tying our spiritual bonds.  This June, we are having a wedding in front of those who have supported our relationship throughout the years. I don't know if it will be truly legal, but in our minds it will be.  But back to my point...

So here are all these jurors, stating they are divorced, married, single...and then what would I say?  I decided if I had to answer the questions, I would say "I have a domestic partner".  And that would "out" me to the 28 people in the courtroom. It made me feel different, of course.  Not quite married, definitely not single.  But definitely different from everyone else. 

If there was marriage equality, then I wouldn't have to out myself to anyone I didn't want to, like those people in the courtroom.  Just one more way that shows domestic partnership and civil unions are not the same as marriage.

Busy-ness keeps the bird...busy

I have been a lazy blogger.  I should blog at least once a week, maybe even once every two weeks.  I mean, how am I politically active and not sharing the word?  Well, I think it is because I have been up to my eyeballs in busy.  Busy at work, busy with the kiddos, busy with wedding, busy with moving furniture and doing this and doing that.  I am very thankful my lovely other and I are taking Friday (our M.L day...inside secret) to do something for us. We are having massages and going out to dinner.  2 hour long massages! Much needed massages... I really hope to stick to my word and blog more often.  Well, here is to one blog down, and another one to come! Cheers!