The proponents filed a request for an en banc review of the full 9th Circuit Court. This is not news, as we knew they would file another appeal. I mean, why come this far and not keep filing? But really, it seems moot. At this point, it is just to continue to delay the stay that is enacted.
Here is where you can get all your Prop. 8 updates. I love this site. It is run through AFER and gives all and any details you might need.
I'm not sure what to say about it at this point. But I won't stop talking :)
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Moving Forward
It has been almost two weeks since the Day of Decision for Prop. 8. I have failed to blog due to all my other life musings (I'm getting married after all!) But I wanted to just throw out some thoughts.
On February 7th, the 9th District Court of Appeals 3-judge panel denied the appeal of Prop. 8 supporters who tried to halt Judge Vaughn Walker's initial ruling that the proposition was unconstitutional. Prop. 8 was struck down! Here is a quote, beautifully stated by Judge Stephen Reinhardt:
"Proposition
8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status
and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to
officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to
those of opposite-sex couples. The Constitution simply does not allow for 'laws of this sort'."
I get chills every time I read it.
But alas, there is always more. Supporters of Prop. 8 have 14 days to appeal the District Court's ruling to have an en banc review (which would include the full panel of the 9th Circuit). That 14 days expires tomorrow. If they do not request an en banc review with a larger panel of the appeals court, the 3-judge panel’s
ruling will be the last word at this level of appeal. Wow. That means the initial stay will expire on February 28th. But, they can also file an appeal with the U.S. Supreme Court. They have 90 days to do so. And they could request an extension of the stay... It's still too soon to celebrate, but my fingers and toes are crossed.
Right now, it is all about holding your breath. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
Monday, February 6, 2012
Day of Decision...yet again!
You know when you are waiting for something in the mail and it seems to be taking FOREVER to get there? And you run and check the mail every day? And when you finally get an envelope addressed to you, you tear it open and gasp for breath in anticipation of the news you were waiting for? And when you open your eyes, the letter says "DELAYED"? This is how I have been feeling for many years now.
In November 2008, rights of all LGBTQ Californians were stripped away with the passage of Prop. 8. The fact that a law was passed that could actually take away rights from people, in this day and age, was utterly shocking. In August 2010, Judge Vaughn Walker ruled that Prop. 8 was unconstitutional. Hope was restored in California, however, marriages have yet to resume. Did you hear me? Marriages have yet to resume in California.
Now, you may say, "Woman, I know this." But honestly, there are so many people that ask me if it is legal to marry in California. I realize people don't follow this as closely as my lovely other and I do, but it is interesting how many people think it is legal to marry someone who you love of the same sex here in California. Damn, it SHOULD be legal! But alas, it still is not.
For personal reasons, I am truly hoping that tomorrow's decision lifts the stay so marriages can continue in this state. My wedding is 4 short months away. It would be nice to promise my love and my heart in front of my friends and family and have it be legal in this state. But if it isn't, it doesn't change my committment to my future wife nor to my daughters. We are as legal as we can get it, and in our hearts and our life, we are married. But that doesn't mean that I want or will settle for anything less than full federal equality.
Granted, the decision tomorrow is for the state of California (although there are ways for it to become a federal ruling if it goes on to the U.S. Supreme Court). And I want equal rights in my state. But it doesn't stop there. We need equality at a federal level. As I sit here, for the second night in a row, doing taxes and banging my head against the wall with my lovely other, it is crazy of how many hoops same sex partners have to go through. The fact that my income is her income and her income is my income and that we have to claim it as community property and add it to our earnings is completely ludicrous. But I digress...
Tomorrow is a big day. There are rallies planned and people are ready to react, regardless of the decision from the Ninth District Court of Appeals. We plan on participating and being as involved as we can. I will definitely be active in sharing information on Facebook and here on my blog. You can keep abreast at Prop 8 Trial Tracker. Cross your fingers, and your toes...even your eyes...oh wait, not the best idea. But still, let us hope we can have equality in our state come tomorrow.
In November 2008, rights of all LGBTQ Californians were stripped away with the passage of Prop. 8. The fact that a law was passed that could actually take away rights from people, in this day and age, was utterly shocking. In August 2010, Judge Vaughn Walker ruled that Prop. 8 was unconstitutional. Hope was restored in California, however, marriages have yet to resume. Did you hear me? Marriages have yet to resume in California.
Now, you may say, "Woman, I know this." But honestly, there are so many people that ask me if it is legal to marry in California. I realize people don't follow this as closely as my lovely other and I do, but it is interesting how many people think it is legal to marry someone who you love of the same sex here in California. Damn, it SHOULD be legal! But alas, it still is not.
For personal reasons, I am truly hoping that tomorrow's decision lifts the stay so marriages can continue in this state. My wedding is 4 short months away. It would be nice to promise my love and my heart in front of my friends and family and have it be legal in this state. But if it isn't, it doesn't change my committment to my future wife nor to my daughters. We are as legal as we can get it, and in our hearts and our life, we are married. But that doesn't mean that I want or will settle for anything less than full federal equality.
Granted, the decision tomorrow is for the state of California (although there are ways for it to become a federal ruling if it goes on to the U.S. Supreme Court). And I want equal rights in my state. But it doesn't stop there. We need equality at a federal level. As I sit here, for the second night in a row, doing taxes and banging my head against the wall with my lovely other, it is crazy of how many hoops same sex partners have to go through. The fact that my income is her income and her income is my income and that we have to claim it as community property and add it to our earnings is completely ludicrous. But I digress...
Tomorrow is a big day. There are rallies planned and people are ready to react, regardless of the decision from the Ninth District Court of Appeals. We plan on participating and being as involved as we can. I will definitely be active in sharing information on Facebook and here on my blog. You can keep abreast at Prop 8 Trial Tracker. Cross your fingers, and your toes...even your eyes...oh wait, not the best idea. But still, let us hope we can have equality in our state come tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Freedom
Yesterday we celebrated Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday. I watched some of his speeches as I do most years and man, he really was an iconic person. To think that we are fighting for our same civil liberties is amazing. True freedom will never happen unless equality prevails.
I am anxiously awaiting a court decision for Prop 8. It's so very hard because the in between time is so very great. I feel like there is so much I should be doing. But alas, a lot of it is wait time. I will try to do more blogging. My musings tend to vary lately. So much on my mind and I believe it comes out all a blur.
Well, we have the Freedom of Speech and that, my friends, gives me the opportunity to share with you my perspective on an open forum such as the interwebs. Let's just hope I can express myself the way I want to be heard.
I am anxiously awaiting a court decision for Prop 8. It's so very hard because the in between time is so very great. I feel like there is so much I should be doing. But alas, a lot of it is wait time. I will try to do more blogging. My musings tend to vary lately. So much on my mind and I believe it comes out all a blur.
Well, we have the Freedom of Speech and that, my friends, gives me the opportunity to share with you my perspective on an open forum such as the interwebs. Let's just hope I can express myself the way I want to be heard.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Remembering
On this Saturday, 25 years ago, my mom passed away. I don't like to say she "succumbed" to breast cancer, because she fought that son-of-a-bitch every day for 8 years. But eventually she just didn't have the strength left in her. She didn't give up. My mom never gave up. She was a strong woman and I believe I get my strength from her.
I was 13 when my mom died. Shortly after was when I stopped believing in the ways set forth in Catholicism. I couldn't fathom a god who loved me so much to take my mom away when I needed her most, leaving me behind to take care of my brother and my father. It didn't make sense. Although my mom taught me everything I needed to know to survive in this world, it never made sense why I needed to know these things so young. Ironically, I find myself teaching them to my two daughters because I know it will make them stronger. My lovely other and I both believe these things to be true and we want to instill the power of choice, the power of responsibility and the power of love in our girls.
I remember thinking when I was about 15 years old that I could never imagine my mom being gone for 10 years... When I turned 26, I realized that she had been gone for twice the amount of years I had been alive! I remember at 34 when I had a small, fibrous mass in my breast, how ironic it was that I was the age my mom was misdiagnosed as having a benign mass in her breast. And now, at 38, I am looking upon the 25 year anniversary of her passing. I have a lot of memory loss within my adult years (no, it was not due to crazy partying or massive drug use, ha!), but no matter what, I remember that day crystal clear in my head. Every moment. Bits and pieces from the days before and sporadic events from the days following. But that one afternoon is still as clear as day.
My future wife says I look just like my mom and that the older I get, the more I look like her. I have her smile, and her eyes. I always felt so proud when people said I look like her. I still am proud. My cousin once told me that she would have supported me in my decisions to live the life I lead; to be the person I am; to express myself to the fullest. I believe that. She always wanted only the best for my brother and I. I have a journal she kept and I know it to be true. Maybe she knew deep down that she was growing an activist; someone who was destined to make a difference. Maybe somehow she knew.
I wish I could have known her as an adult. I use to miss the whole "growing up" thing, that relationship you cultivate between parent and child. But now, I wish I had known her in my adult life. I think it would have truly been amazing to have a conversation with her. It would be a long conversation, maybe about parenting, maybe about politics. And there would be laughter, because we both laugh alot...and loud. I always remember my mom smiling, laughing. Even when she was in pain. I guess that is good. It's those memories that keep me going. Those are the ones that teach me to never give up.
I was 13 when my mom died. Shortly after was when I stopped believing in the ways set forth in Catholicism. I couldn't fathom a god who loved me so much to take my mom away when I needed her most, leaving me behind to take care of my brother and my father. It didn't make sense. Although my mom taught me everything I needed to know to survive in this world, it never made sense why I needed to know these things so young. Ironically, I find myself teaching them to my two daughters because I know it will make them stronger. My lovely other and I both believe these things to be true and we want to instill the power of choice, the power of responsibility and the power of love in our girls.
I remember thinking when I was about 15 years old that I could never imagine my mom being gone for 10 years... When I turned 26, I realized that she had been gone for twice the amount of years I had been alive! I remember at 34 when I had a small, fibrous mass in my breast, how ironic it was that I was the age my mom was misdiagnosed as having a benign mass in her breast. And now, at 38, I am looking upon the 25 year anniversary of her passing. I have a lot of memory loss within my adult years (no, it was not due to crazy partying or massive drug use, ha!), but no matter what, I remember that day crystal clear in my head. Every moment. Bits and pieces from the days before and sporadic events from the days following. But that one afternoon is still as clear as day.
My future wife says I look just like my mom and that the older I get, the more I look like her. I have her smile, and her eyes. I always felt so proud when people said I look like her. I still am proud. My cousin once told me that she would have supported me in my decisions to live the life I lead; to be the person I am; to express myself to the fullest. I believe that. She always wanted only the best for my brother and I. I have a journal she kept and I know it to be true. Maybe she knew deep down that she was growing an activist; someone who was destined to make a difference. Maybe somehow she knew.
I wish I could have known her as an adult. I use to miss the whole "growing up" thing, that relationship you cultivate between parent and child. But now, I wish I had known her in my adult life. I think it would have truly been amazing to have a conversation with her. It would be a long conversation, maybe about parenting, maybe about politics. And there would be laughter, because we both laugh alot...and loud. I always remember my mom smiling, laughing. Even when she was in pain. I guess that is good. It's those memories that keep me going. Those are the ones that teach me to never give up.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Love is what makes a family
About a month ago, Zach Wahls spoke out about his family during a public forum in the Iowa House of Representatives on a measure that would end civil unions in the state. Watch this amazing video here. It's something that hit home strong, as he was so very clear about his stance. So very poignant and passionate. I actually emailed this video to my dad and my step mom. They once told me to stop sending any videos that were politically fueled, which I find funny since my dad loves to talk politics. But LGBTQ issues hit too close to home I guess. I have no clue if they watched it, but it was a must send!
Today, I watched this montage, which made me teary in all good ways. Our youngest daughter watched the video with us. I think she is seeing more and more that any kind of family is indeed family and she is understanding that having two moms is absolutely natural. The other day she and I were cooking dinner on the barbeque and she starts talking about our upcoming wedding in June, shouting out, "And I will officially have two moms! Yaayyyy!" Our marriage is important to her, which makes it all the more important to us. :)
I love seeing families that are built on LOVE! Not traditional constructs, but love. Be them gay, straight, mixed, whatever they may be, they are beautiful. One of my closest friends, states her religion as Love. I absolutely love that! The peaceful, joyous celebration of sharing intimate space and time. It's beautiful. However "tree-huggy" that sounds, it really is a sense of calm in my eyes.
I am wishing for all of you to have a blessed holiday season, and I, along with many others are hoping for equality for all families in 2012.
XO
Today, I watched this montage, which made me teary in all good ways. Our youngest daughter watched the video with us. I think she is seeing more and more that any kind of family is indeed family and she is understanding that having two moms is absolutely natural. The other day she and I were cooking dinner on the barbeque and she starts talking about our upcoming wedding in June, shouting out, "And I will officially have two moms! Yaayyyy!" Our marriage is important to her, which makes it all the more important to us. :)
I love seeing families that are built on LOVE! Not traditional constructs, but love. Be them gay, straight, mixed, whatever they may be, they are beautiful. One of my closest friends, states her religion as Love. I absolutely love that! The peaceful, joyous celebration of sharing intimate space and time. It's beautiful. However "tree-huggy" that sounds, it really is a sense of calm in my eyes.
I am wishing for all of you to have a blessed holiday season, and I, along with many others are hoping for equality for all families in 2012.
XO
Sunday, December 4, 2011
4 days of anxious waiting
December 8th is approaching in 4 days. We are having a day in court on that day, which ironically is exactly 6 months before my lovely other and I are getting married.
There is an amazing site called Prop 8 Trial Tracker that I follow which gives me all the scoop on what's going on with Prop 8. They have this amazing "Where Things Stand" which you can find here. On December 8th, we will be hearing about the potential releasing of the Prop 8 tapes as well as the notion of standing and the arguments related to vacating Judge Walker's ruling.
I am so anxious about this. I want so badly for it all to be done with. Our youngest daughter even mentioned it to me the other day, not understanding why Prop 8 was even still alive. I want to be able to marry my bride without restriction; without discrimination and without feeling like we are second-class citizens.
If you have any questions about how we could possibly feel like second class citizens, look up how much higher I am taxed on health benefits because I have a domestic partner, not a spouse. This is an additional percentage I pay because I am not legally married. Look at how I have to have my health benefits taken our POST-tax due to federal stipulations, thus paying higher taxes. Look at the fact the health insurance coverage my employer pays for my partner is considered income in the state of California and I have to pay taxes on it...even though they already taxed me once. Look at the fact that if I lose my job, my partner is not eligible for COBRA because it is a federal benefit.
On top of that, add to the fact that I pretty much "come-out" on the daily. "Your husband?" "No, my partner." I don't mind. I am very proud. I wouldn't change me, as it took a very long time to get to be me. It's more people's reactions. Luckily, I haven't had any bad reactions, just ones where you know they are trying to think of how to respond. I just keep on, keepin' on :-) Because she is worth it..we are worth it :-)
Here's to 4 more days of waiting...
There is an amazing site called Prop 8 Trial Tracker that I follow which gives me all the scoop on what's going on with Prop 8. They have this amazing "Where Things Stand" which you can find here. On December 8th, we will be hearing about the potential releasing of the Prop 8 tapes as well as the notion of standing and the arguments related to vacating Judge Walker's ruling.
I am so anxious about this. I want so badly for it all to be done with. Our youngest daughter even mentioned it to me the other day, not understanding why Prop 8 was even still alive. I want to be able to marry my bride without restriction; without discrimination and without feeling like we are second-class citizens.
If you have any questions about how we could possibly feel like second class citizens, look up how much higher I am taxed on health benefits because I have a domestic partner, not a spouse. This is an additional percentage I pay because I am not legally married. Look at how I have to have my health benefits taken our POST-tax due to federal stipulations, thus paying higher taxes. Look at the fact the health insurance coverage my employer pays for my partner is considered income in the state of California and I have to pay taxes on it...even though they already taxed me once. Look at the fact that if I lose my job, my partner is not eligible for COBRA because it is a federal benefit.
On top of that, add to the fact that I pretty much "come-out" on the daily. "Your husband?" "No, my partner." I don't mind. I am very proud. I wouldn't change me, as it took a very long time to get to be me. It's more people's reactions. Luckily, I haven't had any bad reactions, just ones where you know they are trying to think of how to respond. I just keep on, keepin' on :-) Because she is worth it..we are worth it :-)
Here's to 4 more days of waiting...
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